If you read my review of Jurassic World 3 years ago you’ll know that I wasn’t a big fan of it. I felt it was
more of a remake of the original Jurassic Park than a reboot, and with that came a lot of déjà vu with none of the
nostalgia. I was severely disappointed and haven’t watched it since seeing it
in the theater opening night (and I still have no plans to).
Yesterday Universal released the follow-up, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. It’s
safe to assume that this was not one of the summer 2018 blockbusters that I was
looking forward to. The first trailer made it look like it should have been
named Run Away: The Movie, and the
second a remake of The Lost World:
Jurassic Park. Ugh. Not thrilled. Like, at all. But due to my love of the
original 1993 film I still had to see it. For all I knew it could have been a
surprisingly fun and entertaining flick.
It was not.
The story picks up 3 years after Jurassic World ended. The remaining dinosaurs on Isla Nublar are in
danger of being wiped out by an erupting volcano, so Claire (Bryce Dallas
Howard) and Owen (Chris Pratt) are asked by a shady businessman to assist the
company he oversees in bringing a small number of the resurrected beasts back
to the mainland for preservation purposes. But all is not what it seems… duh!
Yup, the set-up is exactly the same as The Lost World. Big surprise. The movie plays out similarly as well
with minor tweaks to events to make them seem new again. I wasn’t fooled. There are only so many times you can make “dinosaurs on
the loose” movies before you start repeating yourself. The answer that the
writers began using with Jurassic Park
III is the “we’ll introduce a new dinosaur” aspect. But Jurassic World and this sequel went one
step further and introduce new genetically modified dinos instead. Lame. The
IndoRaptor (the mixing of the Indominus Rex introduced in the previous film
with a Velociraptor) is lazy in the extreme, looks lame (it resembles a skinny
Godzilla) and adds nothing to the lore of the franchise except to sell toys.
Screenwriters Colin Trevorrow (who directed Jurassic World, but passed on this) and
Derek Connolly show little interest in developing their returning characters
any further and strictly on spectacle. The only thing we learn about them are some
hasty introductions where Claire is running a charity to help save the dinos
and Owen is retired and building a house for himself. Once that is out of the
way we are off to the island and their development halts in it’s tracks for
non-stop action scenes. Their romance is forced, Owen is once again written as
Mr. Machismo incarnate who just wants to get into Claire’s pants and while Claire
has certainly toughened up since the first film she still has to rely on Owen
to get her out of tights spots (the lobby posters all seem to focus on the fact
that Claire has to cling to Owen for safety). New characters Zia (Daniella
Pineda) and Franklin (Justice Smith) are more fun to watch than the leads due
to their chemistry and snarky humor. Shit, Blue the raptor gets more character
development than anyone else.
Aside form that major issue the “cloning is bad” message is
bashed over our heads more than once (especially in one groan inducing scene
near the end), we have the usual moustache twirling villain BS and a worthless
cameo written for the always entertaining Jeff Goldblum (I’m pretty sure he
shot those courtroom scenes in less than a day). It’s all very tiring. There is stupidity all over the place, from people laying 2 inches away from a lava flow with no effect to their person to people being engulfed by super heated ash clouds with none of the death associated with it... it's mind boggling to say the least. And to
top it all off, there is zero plot here. It’s just action scene after action
scene after action scene.
Director J.A. Bayona (The
Orphanage, The Impossible)
definitely shows off some visionary skills with his usual cinematographer Oscar
Faura. There were some shots that were breathtaking (that scene on the dock
with the Brontosaurus nearly brought tears to my eyes) and he certainly knows
how to stage an action scene so that it makes sense with all the rapid style
editing required for a film such as this. Everything on the island is colorful,
and once the plot moves to the mainland it becomes bleak and dreary in a stark
contrast to the outdoor scenes. Visually this flick is a stunner. Bayona just
needed to focus a little less on the eye candy and more on making sure his
actors look like they are actually giving a shit about what’s going on around
them.
I like Chris Pratt. I think he’s a very charming and
charismatic actor, especially in the Marvel films. In these Jurassic World flicks he seems like he’s
just doing it for the paycheck; playing a frat boy douche whose ulterior motive
isn’t to do the right thing, but get a little ass. I can’t stand his character
of Owen.
Bryce Dallas Howard fares much better in both films as she
seems genuinely into her role, but here she doesn’t have much of one. She’s
more of a participant along for the ride who needs to be saved all the time. At
least she isn’t running around in high heels this time around (why that was
such a big deal in the media still baffles me). Her character is a little more
proactive (she shows the beginnings of becoming an Ellen Ripley style
character), but her reliance on Owen still annoys the hell out of me. And her
kiss to manipulate Owen… what?!
The rest of the supporting cast is fine, with only the
aforementioned Daniella Pineda and Justice Smith standing out. Of course there
had to be a child in peril played by Isabella Sermon, but she just gawks at
things with her mouth agape for the whole movie. Ted Levine (Silence of the Lambs) takes Pete
Postlethwaite’s “great white hunter” role from The Lost World and does nothing with it (his character does one of
the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in a film, bar none) and the less said about
Rafe Spall (Hot Fuzz, Prometheus) the better. He is flat out
annoying as the (uber-predictable) dastardly Eli.
But not all is worthless in this flick. Like I said, the
cinematography is astounding. Everything looks fantastic, framed extremely well
and there is never any question as to what you’re looking at in any given
moment. The movie is supremely fast paced and rarely slows down to catch its
breath. I cannot say that I was ever bored (which was a problem I had with the
previous film). The action scenes are top notch; exciting and very tense at times. A
couple of the jump scares really surprised me and I’m as tolerant as can be
when it comes to that sort of thing. The opening stinger is kind of rad with
little homages to Jaws here and there. Michael Giacchino’s fabulous, chorus
fueled score amped me up on more than one occasion. I was thankful that
we weren’t getting 500 reworks of the original John Williams themes here. And
then there’s the ending. That super excellent and potential filled ending. If there is another film (let’s be honest,
there will be) I will be first in line to see it due to where the film leaves
off. The ramifications of what some of the characters do in the finale should
make for an interesting jumping off point for Jurassic World 3.
In the end I liked Jurassic
World: Fallen Kingdom more than the previous film, but it’s still nothing
to write home about. It’s a lot of wasted time and effort as far as I’m
concerned as it does nothing new and just recycles old ideas over and over
again like it’s predecessor. I hope that in future sequels the writers decide
to truly run with the ideas presented here in the final frames and make the Jurassic Park follow-up I’ve always
wanted to see.
2 out of 5
