Stranded is one of
those movies.
A group of astronauts that run a mining operation on the
moon are hit by a devastating meteor storm that damages their habitat beyond
repair. Upon investigation they learn that a violent alien organism may have
infiltrated the facility via one of the meteors, but due to the buildup of
carbon dioxide the possibility of it all being a mass hallucination begins to
consume the crew with paranoia.
I should have known that this was going to be a disaster of
a film once I saw who directed it… Roger Christian. Yes, the same man who
directed my least favorite film of all time – Battlefield Earth. If you go to IMDB and look up this talentless
hack you’ll see that not one of the films he directed have received any decent
positive word of mouth. His projects are universally frowned upon, save The Sender. And yet he still continues
to be hired to make garbage like this.
For starters, the movie just looks absolutely bottom of the
barrel. We are talking cheap cheap cheap. The outer space scenes are all made
up of undetailed miniatures that look like they were purchased at a model shop
and were never painted. While I do applaud the use of physical effects instead
of digital ones I have to say that this is a sterling example on how not to do
it effectively. The sets look like someone’s garage and outdated machinery
found at a junkyard was spread around to fill out the space.
The acting is beyond abysmal, with star Christian Slater
appearing to be completely disinterested in his part. I guess the mortgage was
due. Co-stars Brendan Fehr (Roswell, The Forsaken), Amy Matysio and Michael
Therriault are uniformly bad in their respective parts, Therriault doubly so
since he also plays the possibly hallucinatory alien.
The script by Christian Piers Betley & Roger Christian
recycles nearly every single science fiction/horror cliché you can possibly
think of. There is nothing original at all here, and the director seems to
enjoy showing off just how much he has plagiarized Alien, Aliens, The Thing and more. Sure the idea that
the alien infestation (if you could even call it that) could possibly be a
hallucination brought on by carbon dioxide poisoning is interesting in theory,
but it is pulled off in the most hackneyed way imaginable and at times the
script forgets if it’s played its hand already and given away the truth. It’s a
confusing mess. And what’s worse is that the characters are written as a bunch
of whiny assholes that are completely unlikable in every way. When you are just
rooting for some random occurrence to take these people out just so you won’t
have to hear them speak anymore you know you’ve watching an epic fail of a
flick.
Laughably, the alien takes the form of one of the
crewmembers (the aforementioned Therriault) after biting him on the hand in
order to cut down on the money it would take to create an alien suit or some
CGI creature. He’s not scary or convincing in the part (or parts since he plays
two characters) and due to it the threat level it presents is a bad joke.
Everything about this movie is horrible. Nothing works, it’s
unintentionally funny (but not in an amusing way), the actors don’t give a shit
and the low budget works against the filmmakers at every turn. Well, it works
against them whenever the downright putrid script isn’t doing it already. And
to add insult to injury it’s left open for a sequel during the final moments.
Please do not watch this movie. It is a waste of your
precious time and your patronage will allow Roger Christian to continue making
cinematic diarrhea. If you enjoy being shat on this might be the movie for you.
0 out of 5
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