Orange is the New Black: Season 1

Weeds was an awesome show. Not only did series creator Jenji Kohan manage to juggle both drama and comedy successfully, but she made all the characters come alive and likable regardless of some of the effed up stuff they ended up having to do to survive. Sure there were some hiccups along the way - the lackluster sixth season, the way the Celia character (Elizabeth Perkins) was treated as the show went on (basically becoming a tiring lightning rod of hate that grated on the nerves) and some dumb developments that most long running shows have to deal with when they’ve been on for eight seasons. Regardless, it went out on a high note and had me anxiously awaiting Kohan’s next project. 

And out of nowhere comes her Netflix exclusive series Orange is the New Black which has taken the web by storm.

This is the story of Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling), who a decade ago was in a relationship with a drug smuggler (Laura Prepon) and has been named as her accomplice. Jailed and separated from her loving fiancée (Jason Biggs), Chapman must now learn to adapt to her new surroundings.

The best kind of comedy, at least for me, comes from good drama. Fortunately Orange is the New Black is rife with both in equal measure and makes for one of the most compelling and addictive shows I’ve ever seen. I have never ripped through a season of a show this quickly. Sure there are only 13 hour long interlacing episodes, but three days? Yes, I watched the entire series in three days. Damn you Jenji Kohan! Damn you with awesomeness!

Based on the memoir “Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison” by Piper Kerman, the series is a group character study of a select number of the inmates that manage to find the humor in their tragic stories and day to day life in the ladies only lockdown. The group of actresses assembled here are truly talented and give each character their own personalities and nuances that bring them to life in ways that I am damn sure wasn’t described in the scripts. Some are better than others, but my top five are Natasha Lyonne as Nichols, Danielle Brooks as Tastee, Laverne Cox as Bursett, Michelle Hurst as Miss Claudette and the incomparable Kate Mulgrew as Red. You read that right, Kate Mulgrew, as in Star Trek: Voyager’s Captain Janeway. I will not go into details about each character in order to not spoil the surprises each one has in store for those who want to check the show out, but in my opinion these are some of the most well rounded characters I’ve seen since, well, Weeds.

Each episode features its own unique storyline along with a throughline for the entire season that involves Chapman coming to terms with her poor choices and learning to not be afraid of her surroundings. Each also follows a cliché taken from Lost in which we get to see flashbacks that detail the pasts of some of the main players and how they ended up in prison with the others. The writing is smart and each episode gives you deeper insight into not only the inmates, but the prison employees as well. There are times when they are more interesting than some of the prisoners, especially Michael Harney as Healy the Guidance Counselor. When you find out what his ultimate deal is you will… fuck. Spoilers. Sorry. Trust me, it’s fascinating. The direction for each chapter is basically the same (one episode is directed by none other than Jodie Foster), the sets look authentic enough and the songs chosen are appropriate.

My main issues after having watched the entire season are kind of major. When all is said and done I found the main character of Chapman to be the weakest one of the bunch. Sure Taylor Schilling, who looks like a blonde clone of Katy Perry, plays the part with honesty and believability, but her character is very one note and isn’t all that likable. She’s a bitch, clingy and somewhat pathetic. I also took issue with how saccharine prison life is portrayed at times. Even in minimum security things are never as quiet and civilized as they are here. Some of the developments, such as an inmate falling in love with a guard and getting pregnant, are just dumb and used as generic filler for random episodes. I also am getting tired of seeing the talented Taryn Manning playing batshit crazy characters. Her part of the insanely religious Pennsatucky is so tiresome and annoying that whenever she would walk on screen I would inwardly groan. Some character arcs are wrapped up way too soon, some are dragged out too far. The main title sequence is also way too long, but that’s just me being nitpicky.

After the last episode had ended I tossed my remote control aside and said to myself “well isn’t that fucking great”. I wasn’t being pissy in a bad way, I was being pissy because I have to wait a year to find out what the solution will be for the big problem that was presented to me moments earlier would be. That’s the best compliment I can bestow upon this somewhat brilliantly conceived and at times hysterically funny new series.

Netflix is coming into their own with their original programming in such a way that it has begun to rival HBO’s dominance. Sure Hemlock Grove was a complete bust, but with Orange is the New Black, House of Cards and Arrested Development under their wing I foresee great things coming for the future of web-based entertainment.

4 out of 5

Note: This review was originally posted on July 15, 2013. I don't know how, but it was deleted during my reviewing hiatus. This is a repost that coincides with the forthcoming review of Season 3.

Jurassic World

Jurassic Park is a classic. Sure it came out way back in 1993, but it holds up surprisingly well. Even in 3D. 

The Lost World: Jurassic Park does not. Not one bit. Awkward, sloppily written and aimlessly directed, it’s a massive mound of triceratops turds (and the gymnastikill scene is one of the worst abominations in film history). 

Jurassic Park III, while being the shortest film in the series, is a big step up from part 2. But it’s still a clumsy and somewhat goofy affair.

It’s been 14 years since the last film in the series was released. Is a film about resurrected dinosaurs even relevant these days? Ladies and gentlemen – I give you Jurassic World.

An experiment in splicing dinosaur genes breaks loose of its confines and attacks the visitors of Jurassic World, a fully functioning theme park featuring the formerly extinct creatures.

While this flick broke all kinds of box office records during its opening weekend I cannot say that it’s completely deserving of all the accolades and excitement. Why?  Because this is one lazily pieced together film that is more focused on product placement and recreating classic scenes from the original than telling a fresh and original tale of its own. 

Jurassic World functions as not only a sequel to Jurassic Park (no mention is given to the events from the other films in the franchise), but also as a reboot. It does take place 22 years after the events of the original film, but covers a lot of the same ground. So much so that it felt as if I was watching a remake. There are a number of recreated shots, action scenes and character beats. It became a little annoying after the third time it happened and by the end I lost count.

That doesn’t mean that what happens wasn’t entertaining. Some of it was. I especially enjoyed the huge battle scene in the finale and a couple of the Indominus Rex attacks. The rest I could have done without. A lot of the Dimorphodon and Pteranodon stuff echoed Jurassic Park III a little too closely, as does the way Owen communicates with his pack of Velociraptors (with 100% less Ocarina of Time action). The film did fly by at a fast clip and was never really boring.

My problems with this film are in many different departments. Firstly, the characters aren’t all that appealing. Hot off his star making role in Guardians of the Galaxy, the usually charismatic Chris Pratt seems asleep at the wheel here. He does get a few good one liners here and there, but he seems to have taken a page from the Howie Long book of acting (ever see Firestorm?) where he has the same expression for every emotion his character goes through. I’m glad that he didn’t play his part of Raptor trainer Owen as a goofball, but I just never connected with him like I did in Guardians.

Bryce Dallas Howard fares a little better since her character of Claire actually has an arc. Where Owen basically stays the same throughout the film, Claire begins as a bit of an ice queen, focused solely on her career and little else. This includes caring for her visiting nephews. As the film goes on we see her come to realize that her ambition and focus has actually done her more harm than good and that she still has a chance to rectify that. That is, if she can survive the dinosaur onslaught that’s about to punch her in the face. I actually cared more about the fate of her character than anyone else.

I did like Gray (Ty Simpkins) and Zach (Nick Robinson), the two children visiting the park to see their aunt Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) due to the surprising amount of development they were given. They’re not the usual annoying brats that do nothing but get in trouble; they are smart, crafty and going through some deeply personal turmoil regarding the state of their parent’s relationship. They are also given a handful of the better moments in the film.

The rest is pretty awful. Vincent D’onofrio (Daredevil) is wasted as the villain, the usually hilarious Jake Johnson (New Girl) is given nothing to do but stare at a screen and act awkward, Omar Sy (X-Men: Days of Future Past) plays a lame sidekick to Owen, Lauren Lapkus (Orange is the New Black) does nothing but cry and Judy Greer, who I absolutely adore, is flat out annoying and hammy.

But what about the dinosaurs? Of course they are kind of awesome! The special effects and animatronic beasts are all in fine form as to be expected. I really liked the design of the Indominus Rex and found it to be somewhat terrifying in action. Seeing Jurassic World as a fully functioning theme park was rad too, complete with Sea World styled aquatic shows, a baby dinosaur petting zoo and high-tech tours of all the herbivore paddocks. A lot of thought went into the intricacies of how this concept would actually work as a theme park and I was thankful for that. The aspect I liked the most was the trained Velociraptors. These four CGI killing machines were given a lot of personality, especially the Beta, Blue.

But when it comes to the plot it is all rehashed from the original film. Every beat, every scare, every attack… it’s frustrating. Where does homage end and plagiarism begin? Even the finale, while rad as hell, is just an amped up version of the first film’s climax. Director Colin Trevorrow (Safety Not Guaranteed) and the stable of writers didn’t seem to have a plan when the time came to make the next film in this franchise. They tweaked a few ideas from an abandoned sequel script that was written in the early/mid-2000s (the training of human-dinosaur hybrids to be soldiers for the government) and filled in the gaps with greatest hits from the other films. While they do a great job of setting up where future sequels could go, this jumping off point is as aimless and joyless as they come. But when one of the selling points I’m hearing on all the talk shows is that Bryce Dallas Howard runs around for the entire film in high heels... yeah, your priorities are a little whacked.

Why couldn’t the writers come up with all new scenarios that involved the other unique dinosaurs inhabiting the park? We’ve seen Pteranodons before. We’ve seen the T-Rex plenty of times. We’ve also had our fill of Velociraptors. There’s plenty of other species they could have pooled from to carve out their own filmic identity. A great opportunity was wasted with the Mosasaurus. Why couldn’t there be a scene where the characters had to make their way across the gigantic water tank and fend off that aquatic terror? We haven’t seen anything like that before in these films! So much potential just squandered! 

But the one thing that really, really bugged me was all the blatant product placement. Samsung, Pandora Jewelers (the worst offender), Verizon Wireless, Beats by Dre, Mercedes-Benz, Starbucks, Coca-Cola… the list goes on. It’s always in your face and distracting as all hell. And I’m sorry, dear writers, that having a couple of your characters cracking jokes stating how lame corporate sponsorship is doesn’t mean you’re being meta. You’re being hypocritical. Points lost.

While I did enjoy this film when I first walked out of the theater opening night, the more I thought about it them more I disliked it. I finally came to a conclusion the following day that while there is definitely some entertainment value to be found within, Jurassic World isn’t the huge epic everyone is making it out to be. It’s a well below average film that is getting a pass from the mainstream audiences based on the name recognition alone. Give it some time. In a few years I’m sure it will be remembered about as fondly as Jurassic Park III.

2 out of 5

Insidious: Chapter 3

Here’s the short version of my history with this series of films: Won an advance screening ticket to the first film. Loved it. Won an advance screening ticket to the second film. Disliked it.

After the blasé nature of Insidious: Chapter 2 I wasn’t keen on the prospect of another sequel. Once I learned that this was to be a prequel and not another rehash involving the Lamberts I was mildly intrigued. Then I heard that the focus was going to be on the most interesting character from this series – Lin Shaye’s Elise Rainier. Yessssssssssssss! Take my muthafuckin’ money!

Set a short while before the first film, Insidious: Chapter 3 revolves around Elise (Lin Shaye) coming out of self-imposed exile to stop a malevolent spirit attempting to possess young Quinn Brenner (Stephanie Scott).

I am happy to report that my fears were for naught. While Insidious: Chapter 3 isn’t nearly as tight and well made as the original film it is head and shoulders above the rushed mess that was Insidious: Chapter 2.

Series writer and first time director Leigh Whannell (Saw, Saw II, Saw III), who also plays Specs in these films, thankfully takes his time setting up the plot and developing the characters before unleashing hell upon them. It’s a breath of fresh air to see this approach, especially after the opposite was the name of the game in the summer’s other ghostly horror flick - the turkey known as Poltergeist. He smartly decided to make this prequel revolve around a new family and villain while at the same time letting clues as to what is coming in the first Insidious creep in to please the fan base. This is a fun mixture that not only gives further (no pun intended) insight into Elise’s past encounters with the spirit that will eventually end her life, but also gives her great character some much needed backstory. The story also takes a few welcome emotional turns that I really appreciated.

Whannell also gets some great performances from his troupe of thespians. I’ve never heard of Stephanie Scott before, but that girl is going places. She plays her character of Quinn, who is in a rather vulnerable place for the majority of the film, not as a victim but as a fighter. I found her to be spunky and a great fit for this series. I’ve never been a big fan of Dermot Mulroney, but he plays Quinn’s Dad rather well. I never thought I’d see him in a full on horror movie like this, but he pulled it off for the most part. He’s written as a better father than Sam Rockwell’s Eric in Poltergeist, that’s for damn sure. Whannell and Angus Sampson return as Specs and Tucker and have great chemistry once again.

It is the fabulous Lin Shaye that made this movie for me. She classed up the first two films a great deal and her beefed up role here goes to show that the filmmakers knew just that. She is fantastic as Elise and is given so much interesting and cool stuff to do this time around that I was happy as a clam. She also gets all the good lines (I especially liked “Being in love is a way of delaying pain.”) and audience pleasing moments (when she smack talked a particular spirit the audience I saw the film with cheered loudly). I was so glad she was finally given her own movie and it didn’t completely suck. She makes the most out of it.

On the flip side, the main plot about “The Man Who Can’t Breathe” isn’t anything to get too excited about since it traverses much of the same ground as the events in the first film. It sets itself apart by having not all that much to do with The Nether and focuses on events taking place in the real world. The history of the character isn’t all that interesting at all to be honest. We are given a generic explanation as to why he is haunting the apartment building in which the film takes place and why he wants to possess Quinn.  He does look scary (kudos to the make-up crew) and the sound effects used to signal his presence is some creepy shit (sound department win). How he is dealt with in the finale is a letdown though. It just kind of happens a little too quickly for my liking. It’s almost as if Whannell realized that his movie was about to hit that 90 minute sweet spot and needed to wrap things up as soon as he could. It’s not a horrible climax, just a little underwhelming.

But my main beef is the same problem I had with the previous film – lame ass jump scares. Where the first film was methodical about setting up its dread filled vibe while barely relying on overly loud noises or people suddenly popping into frame for a cheap scare, this one thrives on it. Just because one of the producers created the pointless Paranormal Activity franchise doesn’t mean you have to follow in his footsteps. The original Insidious worked without all that garbage. Why couldn’t this one? It’s cheap, and in my humble opinion, is what is ruining horror.

Another issue is something that shows a lack of confidence and creativity. That would be stealing gags from other films. There is a moment during one of the possession scenes that is just flat out ripped off from A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge involving someone’s tonsils and an eyeball. It took me out of the movie and I actually said aloud “Seriously?!” That was a signature moment from Nightmare 2 and it’s thrown in here all nonchalantly as if it was something original on the part of the filmmakers. Not cool.

All things considered, Insidious: Chapter 3 could have been a complete clusterfuck. It’s the third film in an uneven series. The safe route was taken since most third installments in recent horror franchises do the prequel thing. Most of the original cast/characters are missing and replaced by new ones. 90% of PG-13 horror films are trash. Etc.

This flick was a pleasant surprise. I was totally expecting to hate it, like part 2, but instead I found it a fun summer horror movie that took as many risks as it played it safe. There are genuine scares here mixed in with the cheap jump variety, the characters are fresh and well written and it does a nice job of telling its own story while also not beating us over the head with setting up the film that follows. I quite enjoyed this prequel. If there is another installment I hope we go further back in time to see Elise when she was in her prime.

3.5 out of 5

Kung Fury

Now that Kickstarter is actually enabling filmmakers to raise the money for their dream projects there have been a fair amount of movies to come from it, some good and some bad. Kung Fury was funded way back in December of 2013 with a total of $630,019 from 17,713 backers (I was not one of them) donating their hard earned money to see a cool little 80s themed gonzo concept trailer turned into a full fledged feature. Since they were only looking to raise $200,000 initially I was expecting the final product to be one of gargantuan proportions.

And then I saw that the final film was only 30 minutes long. WTF?!

It turns out that director David Sandberg, who also plays the titular character, was looking to raise the $200k for the short film and his stretch goal was to raise $1m for the feature version. Since they never came close to that amount it looks like there will be no such thing.

But how is the short version?

Beat cop turned super hero crime fighter Kung Fury (David Sandberg) must travel back in time to stop Adolf Hitler (Jorma Taccone), also known as Kung Fuhrer, from destroying the future.

I liked the Kung Fury trailer that everyone seemed to be talking about at the end of 2013. It was goofy, fun and cheesy beyond belief. There were cop cars being flung into the air by street punks on skateboards, robot arcade cabinets firing laser guns, a Viking girl riding a T. Rex and… Thor. It was pretty much all digital trickery with only the actors being the real things on screen. There was also a cool filter being used to make the footage look like it was being played off a worn out VHS tape. It looked promising if not completely ridiculous.

However, the short film really burned me out on the concept. I could barely sit through this thirty minute version. I cannot even fathom one that would be ninety minutes long!

There is so much stuff being thrown at that viewer in such rapid fire succession that it makes Mad Max: Fury Road look like an exercise in futility. It is a non-stop barrage of crazy CGI FX, explosions, horrible acting (that is dubbed into English due to the actors all being Swedish), 80s nostalgia and bad jokes. I want to give Sandberg the benefit of the doubt that he set out to make something fun and silly, but he went completely overboard and the end result is not all that enjoyable in my eyes. 15 minutes in I felt like my brain was melting.

As the title character Sandberg was going for the stoic hero type, but he comes off as someone who has clearly never acted before. Everyone in the cast is the same. I know some of the actors are his friends while others wanted to be a part of the film due to its ambitious nature. This is a blessing and a curse (I know because I’ve been in the same boat). I wasn’t expecting Oscar worthy performances, but I at least wanted to see people looking like they gave a shit about what was going on instead of everyone coming off as Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

While the FX are really cool and slick, I got sick of all the obvious greenscreen and digital creations. Seriously, I think there is only one real set in the entire film. This is also further proof that just because technology allows you to do all these crazy things doesn’t mean that you have to. With each passing year I get more and more sick of CGI. Kung Fury isn’t helping.

There is a lot of batshit crazy stuff going on in Kung Fury, but for me it was a little much. And this is coming from someone who really enjoyed Iron Sky, another crowdfunded film. While I did find some of the humor enjoyable, a few of the 80s references clever (the hacker character uses a Power Glove and an MSX home computer to hack the time continuum) and some of the action scenes kind of rad it wasn’t enough to sell me on this flick. There's just nothing there under the surface. And most disappointing of all – IT’S NOT FUN! Maybe I’m getting old and jaded. Or maybe I just yearn for the filmmaking days of old.

1.5 out of 5

You can watch the entire short film here:

Poltergeist (2015)

As I’ve stated many, many times before on this blog I am not a fan of remakes or reboots. Unless there is a justifiable reason to make one, be it a script that was too ahead of its time or a fresh angle to update the story, films of the past should just be left alone in favor of new content. But Hollywood doesn’t subscribe to my opinion on the matter. Not one iota. If they own a brand or franchise that they feel still holds weight they will use it until it stops making money. Due to this audiences have received a glut of completely unnecessary remakes over the past few years that were made just to squeeze any juice that might remain within whatever property of yesteryear they choose. 90% of them are absolute shit (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the13th, The Hitcher, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween) while the remaining 10% might bring something new to the table (Evil Dead, Robocop, Piranha 3D, Maniac).

Poltergeist falls within the 90%.

A down on their luck family of five moves into a new house only to find that it is infested with malevolent spirits that want to use the youngest child to guide them into the afterlife.

The plot of this uninspired remake, directed by Gil Kenan (Monster House, City of Ember) and written by David Lindsay-Abaire (Oz the Great and Powerful, Inkheart, Robots) pays homage to the original at the same time it spits on it. The script follows the story of the 1982 film so closely in fact that one wonders why it was remade at all. Well, other than to milk whatever money MGM can from its once popular franchise until 1988’s Poltergeist III killed it. Outside of the tweaking of some of the events to better suit modern audiences and for the sake of 3D, this is the exact same movie all over again just sped up to fit within a 90 minute run time.

I cannot fault the actors for the film’s problems, as they seem to be trying their hardest to make this tripe work. At least the adult actors anyway. Well, some of them. Two of them. Yeah, two of them. Final answer. Sam Rockwell (Galaxy Quest, Iron Man 2) and Rosemarie DeWitt (The United States of Tara, Mad Men) as the two leads are actually kind of fantastic… most of the time. They have a great chemistry together and do their best to sell the horror to the audience. The child actors don’t fare so well with only Kyle Catlett as middle child Griffin showing any signs of life. The less said about Jared Harris (Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows) as Carrigan Burke, standing in for the small but powerful psychic Tangina, the better. He seems embarrassed for the entire film. As does Jane Adams (Happiness) as Dr. Powell. I got the feeling that they were phoning it in for the paycheck.

The script by Lindsay-Abaire is lazy and offers nothing new. It’s a PG-13 horror film meant to frighten kids so he basically took everything that worked in the original and dumbed it down. The 1982 film was meant to be frightening for both adults and children. This one is a non-stop series of boo scares and CGI bullshit. His characters are all clichés, dumb as a box of rocks and most of the time emotionless. The plot developments and exposition comes out of nowhere from characters that really have zero insight into what is going on. Harris’ Burke takes a quick look around the house and has all the answers the leads have been looking for. It’s lame. And the resolution in the finale is flat out stupid. Plus Rockwell’s character in a scene where we learn just how strapped for cash the family is immediately follows it up by going on a spending spree. Why? Because a couple of the purchases will come into use later in the film. These items couldn’t have already been owned by the characters? The scene is unneeded and makes Rockwell’s Eric come off as an irresponsible asshat who is willing to buy stupid shit and drop his family further into the money pit in which they are already neck deep.

The only positives I can say about the screenplay is that Lindsay-Abaire decided to set the film from the point of view of Griffin (standing in for Robbie) instead of the parents like in the original. I also really liked how the spirits lured young Madison (standing in for Carol-Anne) into the closet with pretty lights instead of turning it into a giant black hole and destroying the room in the process. Seeing what was actually inside the closet was cool too, but kind of ruins the mystery of the limbo where the spirits were trapped.

Gil Keenan showed such promise with his directorial debut, Monster House. It was an animated haunted house movie for kids that was both charming and scary. Best of all it worked. So when I saw he was hired to direct this film I was genuinely excited. He showed a deft hand in the genre and I thought he’d knock this one out of the park. Nope. He not only forgets to have his actors emote in the scenes when they need to the most, like after Madison disappears, he treats the film as if it were a “Greatest Hits” version of the original. Scenes are rushed and truncated so often that I felt pivotal moments were lost. The film has no breathing room to let not only the characters stretch but to let the events play out organically like in the original. When wave after wave of CGI terrors are being thrown at the main characters and you really could give a shit you know something has gone wrong. This is the ADHD version of Poltergeist and Michael Bay had nothing to do with it.

Worst of all is the fact that this movie isn’t even remotely scary. The original played on a lot of fears – clowns, the dark, drowning, storms, the loss of a child, shadows, etc. None of these fears are set up beforehand in the remake, so when the scene involving them plays out there is no reason for them to exist. In the original Robbie was afraid of the tree in the backyard because it looked creepy through his bedroom window at night. When it comes to life to attack him we understand why. The spirits knew he was scared of it so they used his fears against him. It was terrifying. When the tree attacks Griffin in the remake there is no connection. The tree just randomly comes to life and attacks him. All the scenes involving the spirits are like this. There is no rhyme or reason behind any of it. It just happens because it did in the original so why shouldn’t it happen here? Zero creativity. All new scenarios should have been invented and that’s all there is to it.

Lazy and worthless, this remake of the fantastically scary Poltergeist is a complete bust and further proves that not all movies need to be remade. It does nothing new with the property and repeats everything that went down in the original with none of the same impact. I went in with an open mind but I should have known better. I hope this bombs because I definitely do not want to see Poltergeist II: The Other Side remade. I shudder at the thought of how Preacher Kane would be bastardized in that unholy mess should it ever come to pass.

At least the 3D worked.

1 out of 5

Mad Max: Fury Road

I’m going to get this out of the way first. When I walked out of my screening of Mad Max: Fury Road I felt like I hadn’t watched a film, I’d had an experience. One that was filled with bright colors, pounding music and some of the coolest things my rods and cones had ever been exposed to. It was glorious.

I’m a huge fan of the Mad Max films. Well, maybe not the original. The Road Warrior and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome are two of my favorite movies from my youth. I watched both of them dozens of times back in the day, Beyond Thunderdome especially. There was something inherently cool about them regardless of the fact that they are more than a little depressing and bleak. Max, played very low key by Mel Gibson, was a self-centered opportunist that usually found a spark along his journey that reunited him with his humanity and compelled him to do the right thing. Unfortunately he always seemed to end up back at square one once the credits roll. It made him extremely interesting in The Road Warrior, and even though he went through the same arc in Beyond Thunderdome the script went about it in a different manner to keep it fresh. Max was a great character; a man of few words and a lot of balls.

It took the mastermind behind all 3 films (well, 2 and a half of them), George Miller, almost thirty years to get another Mad Max off the ground. Script issues, budgetary concerns, casting choices, location mishaps… you name it and this project most likely went through it. When the planets finally aligned and the cameras rolled my excitement began to build. It took decades, but the sequel I’ve always wanted was coming!

After Max (Ton Hardy) is taken prisoner by the desciples of the wasteland tyrant Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne), he finds a way to escape their clutches when Joe’s second in command, Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron), drives away with what is most important to him – his harem of young brides.

The rumors are true. This flick is basically a 2 hour long car chase scene. But does that leave room for characterization and plot development? You bet it does. While it was a little disheartening to see that the title character was being pushed aside in favor of Furiosa I soon came to realize that Max was finding his redemption though her. Despite some unfortunate retconning of the character (it now appears that Max is haunted by the death of his daughter, not the death of his wife and son) we discover that both Max and Furiosa are two parts of the same puzzle. They may seem to be selfish assholes on the surface, but deep down they just want to do what is right amidst all the horror and violence of the ruined world around them. Yet another way to keep the character interesting is by giving him a mirror image. Genius.

At first glance Tom Hardy (The Dark Knight Rises) may not be a great choice for the character, but I found him to have the right amount of stoicism, physicality and unexpected humor required for the part. He’s a total badass in this flick just as Gibson was before him thanks to the writing and the way he’s played.  Example - His crew is in need of some supplies from an enemy vehicle stranded nearby. Max saunters into the dead of night unarmed to get what they need. We never see what happens next, only that Max returns dragging a huge bag full of supplies and covered in blood that is not his own. Fucking rad.

Even though Hardy nails the part of Max I have to give it up to the true hero of the story, Charlize Theron (Prometheus) as Furiosa. The part is written in such a way that reminded me of how Ripley was scripted in the original Alien – neither as a male or a female, just as an awesome character. The fact that the part eventually was cast as female makes the part all the richer in my eyes, especially when the actress was Charlize Theron. She brings a fierceness to the part that works wonders and a lot of heart that I doubt would have been there if not for her. While she is given much more dialogue than the lead, a staple of these films, she kind of comes off as Max’s inner voice at times. Excellent casting and she rocks the shit out of the part.

The rest of the cast is great too. Nicholas Hoult’s (Warm Bodies, Jack the Giant Slayer) Nux starts off as an annoying acolyte and evolves into much more. Rosie Huntington-Whitely (Transformers: Dark of the Moon) shows off that when someone talented is directing her she really can act alongside the best of them. Hugh Keays-Byrne, who played the villain Toecutter in the original Mad Max, is also a strong silent type who lets his crazy make-up and costume do much of the work, but is written as a somewhat sympathetic villain. Sure he’s enslaved a multitude of followers and hoards both gasoline and water from the masses, but his purpose within the film is that he just wants to protect his own even though his family is completely fucked up (he has five wives that serve no purpose other than to be baby factories for his contaminated seed). But the lengths he is willing to go to in order to do so makes him extremely threatening to the heroes.

But what of the much lauded action scenes? They are without a doubt some of the coolest and most pulse pounding I have ever seen. Pretty much anything and everything that can happen does happen to a vehicle at one point or another. Some of the stunts, which were performed real-for-real as much as possible, are so bone crunchingly visceral it made me gasp more than a few times. The multitude of fight scenes come off as something akin to an alley fight which worked better than some overly choreographed kung-fooey. Realism is the name of the game and the CGI (thankfully) pops up only sparingly.

Miller is also known as a visual auteur, and this is his most impressive work to date. Every shot is interesting to look at and creative as fuck. There are awesome slo-mo shots (Max rising from the sand), breathtaking aerial shots (the flares) and shots filled with so much mayhem that I cannot fathom how it was pulled off without some sort of digital trickery (Max swinging by on a pole as vehicles explode gloriously behind him). It’s a feast for the eyes and is one of the most visually arresting flicks I’ve seen in years. Every frame is dense with detail and even though the color palette is mostly brown, the contrast has been bumped up to make it pop off the screen.

I have to also give props to the production team who came up with all these rad ass looking cars, trucks and motorcycles that are easily differentiated as belonging to a specific tribe by the way they are designed. The costumes are wicked as well, especially Immortan Joe’s armor and faceplate that serves more than just as protection. Everything has a function besides what’s on the surface, including the ridiculous flamethrower guitar player riding on a mobile speaker filled concert stage (complete with no less than six Taiko drummers on the back end) while suspended by bungee cords. It looks cool and goofy at first, but then it begins to sink in that this is the music of war being fed live to the troops to keep them amped up and on edge. Lots of thought obviously went into developing the world the story takes place in beyond what we’ve seen in the previous films. It’s all super creative and more than a little awe inspiring. I’ve seen plenty of movies that are filled to the brim with cool ideas and tech. Some utilize them well (Jupiter Ascending) and others not at all (Ultraviolet). I’m happy to report this is the former.

If you see this movie (and if you haven’t you should be ashamed of yourself) be sure to see it in 3D. Even though it was not shot in native 3D it was designed to take advantage of the medium as much as possible when it was converted. Thankfully this wasn’t one of those rush jobs (Avengers: Age of Ultron immediately comes to mind) and it is used so well that I will go on record as saying this is one of the top three 3D films I’ve ever seen (behind My Bloody Valentine 3D and TRON: Legacy). Every shot is layered and filled with such great depth that even the scenes that take place at night were impressive. Its a great use of the format even though the final shot of the epic climax reminded me of the ending of Jaws 3D. 

And I cannot forget to mention Tom Holkenborg’s (aka Junkie XL) awesome score. Trained under Hans Zimmer, Holkenborg fills the aural space with pounding bass, screechy guitars and some awesome strings. It gets you just as amped as the images flashing by on screen. I’m totally buying this soundtrack.

The only negatives I can think of is the Vuvalini tribe not being fleshed out as well as I would have liked and the fact that these old lady warriors were introduced just to be killed off in variously gory ways 20 minutes later. The romantic angle between Nux and Capable (Riley Keough) just sort of comes out of nowhere as well. And I will fully admit that at certain times during some of the action scenes I got lost among all the frenetic shenanigans being thrown at me in rapid fire succession. But these are minor quibbles and didn’t detract from my enjoyment one iota.

Why this movie didn’t draw more of an audience the weekend of its release is beyond me. Something creative and ballsy is dwarfed by Pitch Perfect 2?! A cappa-fuck that shit! Mad Max: Fury Road is a new and compelling vision that totally reinvents the titular character in ways that defy imagination. Like I said earlier, these films are dreary and at times overwhelmingly pessimistic. But there’s hope. And I hope we get more adventures in this weird and wild world that George Miller has created. The dude’s in his 70s and he’s rocking it harder than directors in their 20s. Bring it on!

5 out of 5

#MadMax #FuryRoad #MadMaxFuryRoad #Furiosa #ImperatorFuriosa #ImmortanJoe #Nux #GeorgeMiller

Taken 3

If you read my review of Taken 2 you’ll know that I was not a big fan of the direction the series was heading. Where the first film was a tense and brutal action thriller the second was the exact opposite. It was silly, goofy and really, really dumb. After that film’s release star Liam Neeson stated that he would not appear in a Taken 3. I guess he was offered one hell of a paycheck because he’s back in the role that reinvigorated his career… and I’m pretty sure he regrets making that bank deposit.

Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) is enjoying his long overdue retirement from black ops work, but when he is framed for the murder of his ex-wife (Famke Janssen) he is forced to go on the run to find the real killer.

Saying that this flick is boring is a massive understatement. Even though I didn’t like the second film at least there was usually something mildly exciting going on at any given time. Not here. Not only is this film overly long (it’s just under 2 hours), but there is absolutely nothing going on during its runtime. Once the inciting incident occurs the film plods along at a snail’s pace as Mills attempts to keep creeping on his daughter at college instead of dealing with the pickle he’s in. When he finally gets around to focusing on who killed his ex the big reveal is super predictable due to the cliché of casting a recognizable face in a (supposedly) nothing part. There’s none of the suspense, none of the thrills and none of what made Mills so effing rad in the original film on display. It’s a waste.

This time Neeson looks as if he’s on autopilot. He doesn’t seem nearly as committed to the role as he was in the past giving further proof that he never really wanted to participate in this abomination in the first place. Maggie Grace does nothing but cry and pout, Dougray Scott channels his inner douchebag and Sam Spruell goes into Ricardo Montalban territory with how much scenery he chews as the secondary villain. Surprisingly Famke Janssen gives a fairly decent performance for someone with relatively zero screentime. She was probably just happy to be written out of the series at this point. The best performance comes from Forest Whitaker as Dotzler, the cop on the hunt for Mills. He doesn’t go overboard, keeps his character reserved and is basically the only saving grace in the cast.

I still don’t know how director Olivier Megaton keeps getting work. Each of the film’s he’s helmed I couldn’t stand (Colombiana, Taken 2, Transporter 3) and he’s usually all about style and zero substance. However, with Taken 3 he doesn’t even take his typical route. There’s zero style and zero substance across the board. He can’t even get Neeson to look like he gives two shits about the fact that his on-screen ex-wife was killed in his own bed. The few action scenes sprinkled throughout the film are lame and unexciting, the drama is tedious and there is nothing that I can say stuck out as creative or even fun.

While I am thankful that franchise writers Luc Besson (The Fifth Element, La Femme Nikita, Leon: The Professional) and Robert Mark Kamen didn’t make the plot about someone being kidnapped yet again, they too seem to have lost interest in these stories. Sure having Lenore killed in the first 15 minutes is shocking. I really liked her character in the first film so seeing her taken out the way she was was a gasper. It’s just too bad that once it happens the writers can’t seem to find anywhere to take the story. It meanders for what seems like an eternity and is filled with needless padding (all the college scenes involving Mills trying to see his daughter) just so the film wouldn’t clock in at under 70 minutes. I think it’s time that Besson and Kamen finally put these characters to bed and move on to other projects. Maybe Besson can finally get off his ass and make that sequel to The Fifth Element he’s been teasing fans with for nearly 20 years.

It’s plainly obvious that I feel Taken 3 is the worst film in the series. There is not a drop of entertainment value left to be squeezed from this franchise. It’s creatively bankrupt from the start and tested my patience on multiple occasions as leaving the theater to take a piss felt like a much needed intermission. This franchise is officially dead to me. Let’s hope it stays that way.

1 out of 5