Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Blade: Trinity

I love the Blade films that have come before this third installment in the series. Not only did they bring an unknown Marvel comic book character into the limelight, but they were interesting on top of being filled with non-stop martial arts vampire action. This newest and supposedly last film in the series is a huge disappointment.

Blade has been framed for the murder of a human by a group of vampires that have resurrected the one that started it all, Drake (Dracula), and is arrested by the local authorities. They hope that this will keep Blade out of the way while they execute a plan to eliminate all humans from the globe so their kind can reign. Blade is broken out of jail by a group of twenty-something vampire hunters calling themselves the Nightstalkers. One of which is his ex-mentor Whistler's daughter Abigail (the lovely sexpot Jessica Biel). Another is the wise cracking ex-vampire Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds). Blade must learn to work with these hunters if he's going to stop Drake and his army of vampires from taking over the world.
Where did this film go wrong? Well, it would help if the guy playing the legendary Dracula wasn't a shitty actor who wasn't menacing or scary in the slightest. He looks like a douchey European fashion model that struts the city with his shirt unbuttoned. If I were the King of Vampires I'd go after someone a little more prominent instead of a bunch of goth kids who run a vampire store. Plus this guy can't fight to save his life.

The introduction of the Nightstalkers was a cool touch. Blade hates having to rely on others for help, and his reluctance to accept their assistance is what makes for one of the film's best scenes. But then the film starts to pay more attention to these Nightstalker characters than the main one and that's where the film falters. They're not all that interesting a group, just a bunch of nerdy stereotypes that aren't properly developed. We're supposed to care for a particular character just because she's got a child? Not when we know nothing about her other than that. Also, I like a comedy sidekick ONLY when he/she is funny. Ryan Reynolds is given a bunch of real stinkers like “You ought to try blinking sometime” or “Have you ever been laid?” Cliched and stale.
Wesley Snipes is great as Blade, he gets a chance to show off a side of his character that hasn't been seen before, namely his playful side. He toys with some of his marks, and even shares a joke with an infant. It's funnier than most of the crap Reynolds says. But like I mentioned before, the focus switches from him to the teeny-boppers.

I really enjoyed seeing Parker Posey as the lead female vampire Danica Talos. The indie actress seems to be having a ball playing the heavy in this flick, and I got a real kick out of her deadpan deliveries and menacing stare. One of the few bright stars of this film.

There is a lot of action in the film, and the standout was a cool little car chase at the start. The fights on the other hand are so badly choreographed that they are laughable, especially the big fight at the finale.
My main beef with the movie is a major plot point involving a virus that is going to have to be used to kill Drake could possibly kill Blade as well. What should have followed was Blade coming to terms with the fact that he might die in order to save humanity. Nope. Just more Nightstaker goofiness and a lackluster finale that is all about action and none of the drama that the other two films had in large amounts. If this IS to be the last film in the series it's a shitty way to cap it off.

There are some cool moments and a few decent one liners (“You cock juggling thunder cunt” and “Unlike most vampires her fangs are in her vagina”), but for the most part it's a sad way to end a cool franchise. New Line should have let someone other than screenwriter David Goyer (who wrote all the other Blade films and the upcoming Batman Begins) direct this film. Someone with more experience and talent behind the camera might have been able to make this a cool flick.

1 out of 5

*written 12/16/04

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