The Wicker Man (2006)

I know of the original movie from the 70s, but I've never seen it. So when this Neil LaBute remake came out starring Nicolas Cage I decided that this would be as good a time as any. Boy was I ever wrong. This flick stinks to high heaven (even though it starts off with a bang!). Not only is it so damned boring that I had a hard time staying awake throughout it's entire run time, but when the supposedly shocking conclusion came about (of which I already knew about beforehand from reading about the original film) I was actually glad that it was over so I can go home and take a nap. The pacing is as slow as a snail, the acting is over the top (especially in Cage's case), the dialogue is absolute shit (and coming from a great playwright like LaBute this is totally criminal) and there's some parts that are so flippin' ridiculous looking that I'm surprised that they weren't cut out so the audience wouldn't laugh unintentionally (the part where Cage goes around kung-fuing all those ladies in the bar). It's an insult to the viewer's intelligence and should be avoided at all costs.

0 out of 5


*written 9/7/06