The Marine

What do you get when you try to remake Commando with a wrestler as your main star? The Marine, that's what. While it's not completely awful, it's full of so many stupid moments of cheese that I can't recommend it. Every time something explodes it's shown in super slo-mo with an actor superimposed on top of it either being thrown from the blast or walking away from it unharmed. John Cena for the most part walks away with only a couple of minor abrasions in the end after getting his ass pummeled for 90 minutes straight. He gets a fire extinguisher to the face at full speed and there's not one bruise to be found afterward. While it's dumb fun, it's just not that memorable or exciting. Some cool action, and Cena is a decent action star, but that's about it.
 
1.5 out of 5


*written 12/9/06