King Kong (1976)

This will be a brief review...

THIS MOVIE SUCKS ASS!!!!

I remember seeing this worthless remake on TV when I was a kid and I don't remember liking it very much. In lieu of the new Peter Jackson remake I decided to rent it and give it another shot.

NOPE. IT STILL SUCKS ASS!!!!

The acting on display is horrible. Who knew Jessica Lange had 2 Oscars in her after watching her craptastic performance in this mess. The shockingly Oscar winning FX are absolute garbage. And what’s worse is that they took prime Grade-A material and made it embarrassingly hokey. The monkey suit used for Kong obviously looks like a dude in a costume (the Godzilla movies are more convincing) and the robotic version of the title character which cost millions of dollars to make, but is on screen for maybe 5 seconds, totally looks like poo.

The movie is filled to the brim with tons of mistakes. When Jessica Lange is tied at the wrists to the sacrificial altar with vines, Kong reaches out to grab her and one of them snaps before he even gets close making it look like she could have escaped at any time (it's in close up and blatantly obvious). Another is during Kong's supposedly dramatic plummet off the World Trade Center. There's a shot from the ground looking up at the top of the tower as he falls toward camera, and it's like the editor spliced the FX shot in too late, because all you see is the tower, then 2 seconds later Kong magically appears in the center of the frame falling toward us. It's pathetic. Laughably pathetic.

Avoid it at all costs.

0 out of 5


And one last time for dramatic effect...
IT SUCKS ASS!!!!

*written 12/1/05